Awful Things Husbands Should Stop Doing to Their Wives (Must Read)

After listening to many women talk about their marriages with so much
sadness, a Ghanaian relationship columnist admitted that many of them
are married to awful husbands, and has written a piece for Ghanaian
husbands. Whether we want to accept it or not, many women are victims
of wicked men in bad marriages. These women are enduring bad
behaviour, philandering, emotional abuse and even physical violence in
the hands of men who should love and treat them like queens.

It is sad and heartbreaking that when a woman cries out for help when
she can no longer take the treatment she is being subjected to at home
by the man she calls her husband, people tell her to zip it. People
indirectly blame her for the maltreatment she's getting from her
husband. They send her back heartbroken to her bad marriage.
Men tell her to stop complaining and pray for her husband to change.
Women tell her to deal with it because they are going through horrible
things at home too. Pastors tell them to go back home and submit more
while church mummies tell them to be humble and virtuous so that their
husbands can treat them better.

I don't know why a woman who is going through hell in her marriage
will be advised to keep praying for her abuser to change. The ironic
thing is that this rule is only applicable to women. I haven't heard
of a man who was told to keep praying for his cheating wife to change.
The double standards set for men and women in marriages are just
nauseating.
After listening to many women talk about their marriages with so much
sadness, I can say that many of them are married to awful husbands.
The annoying thing is that these men don't see anything wrong in
treating their wives like animals. They claim that's how their fathers
treated their mothers and they were married for decades. They refuse
to be taught how to treat their wives better.

If all you do is criticize your wife, you are a bad husband. She can't
be that bad. If she were that terrible, you wouldn't have married her.
Mr. Man, watch yourself and don't get caught in the trap of
criticizing your wife. Choose to see the good in your wife. Compliment
her on all the things she is doing right.
You are not always right. And your beautiful wife is actually very
good at making her own decisions and she can make very good decisions
too. So stop feeling like you need to control where she's going, what
she's doing, how much she's spending and more. Instead of stressing
about that, work together as a team, encouraging and supporting each
other. Let your wife be her own person, and give her wings to fly.

Dear husband, your wife isn't an object. She is your wife, your best
friend and your queen. She deserves your utmost respect, especially
when it comes to s*xual intimacy. Always respect her and her body and
work on establishing emotional connection and trust before thinking
about sharing s*xual intimacy with your wife. s*x can be the most
unifying, fulfilling and beautiful thing in marriage when you both
treat each other respectfully.

Don't be too busy to call your wife, to text her or recognize her when
she walks in the room. The next time you see her, give her a big hug
and tell her you love her. Let her know she is your top priority by
putting her first – ahead of work, time with your buddies, or watching
football matches. Sit on the couch and talk to her. Tell her about
your day, your thoughts, your worries, and your funny experiences.

That a woman is your wife doesn't give you the right to use dirty
words on her. Watch your mouth. Cut the swearing habit, and remove
crude, rude and dirty language from your vocabulary. If you can't use
those words on strangers, don't use them on your wife. Your wife
deserves to hear words that a gentleman would speak, not that of a
street boy.
Comparing your wife to your friend's wife or the women you meet in the
course of doing your job or business is one sure way to ruin your
marriage, your life and your future. Simply put, don't start imagining
being the husband of these other women, you won't see anything good in
your wife when you do that. You can only see the things they present
to you, you don't know the real them.

Stop telling your wife that she should dress like your friend's wife
or make her hair the way your female colleague makes hers. That's
insulting and demeaning. The last thing your wife needs to hear is
that she doesn't measure up to your unrealistic expectations. Don't
compare your wife's body, budgeting skills, or parenting skills to
that of other women. Your comparisons will crush her self-esteem over
time.

I laugh when some men claim that it is not our culture for them to
cook, clean and take care of their children. I don't know how keeping
your home clean is beneath you. You are not doing your wife a favour
by cooking for her and the kids and cleaning up after them. It's your
duty to take care of your family, don't leave it for your wife alone.
You will wear her out.
You may bring in half the income or all of it, but that doesn't mean
you can chill on the couch while your wife cleans, tidies and washes
dishes day-in and day-out. Kick it up a notch and offer to help out.
Clean the toilet, yes, the one you use every day, carry in the
groceries and wash your wife's clothes as well as that of your
children. They are your children, not your wife's alone. You and your
wife are a team and ought to work side by side creating the home of
your dreams.

If you lose your temper all the time, you are behaving like a child
throwing tantrums. You are a grown man, and yelling at your wife is
not appropriate, effective or helpful. Rage, lashing out, throwing
things and threatening are all forms of abuse. Beating her is a crime.
Learn to control your temper. You don't go about beating your fellow
men so why do you think it's right to beat your wife?

If you think you can sneak off with that babe from work and your wife
will never know, then you are kidding yourself and in for a very rude
awakening. And honestly, even if your wife never found out, it's still
wrong. Don't throw away everything that is truly meaningful for a
fleeting moment of pleasure. Choose to be honest. Choose to be loyal.
Live up to those promises you made to your bride. She deserves all
that, and more.

One man said on Facebook last week that it is the norm for men to
cheat but it should be done discreetly because they are men but women
can't try that because when the man paid her bride price, he paid for
her v**ina to be his forever. I truly do not understand this crap. If
you want a faithful wife, you have to be a faithful husband. Stop
expecting fidelity from the woman you cheat on.

If you are a bad husband, you should change. It doesn't make you a
woman wrapper to be a good husband. Decide to be better man and make
changes so that you can enjoy your wife for life.