Love gone sour: The experiences of Ghanaian women and men

There are various kinds of love but the ones that have been subject of
discussions and contentions are the Eros and Pragma. Eros which is the
love of the body is mainly based on sexual attraction. Pragma which is
a second kind of love is a long standing love. It's the everlasting
love between married couple which develops over a long period of time.

Most Ghanaian men and women often at times get confused as to whether
love in the romantic sense is something that happens instantaneously
or if it's something that's established through an extensive period of
time. The answer is that love can develop instantaneously but it needs
to be established and that where the element of process comes in. You
can fall in love in an instant but in order to stand in love you must
look at love as a means to an end and not an end in itself.
Ghana is a very conservative nation. Christianity, Islam and
traditional religion have certain dogmas that have shaped the Ghanaian
society as far as love in romantic sense is concerned. These religious
creeds often convey upon its adherent and the society at large the
need for Ghanaians to limit their expressions and experiences of love
in it romantic form.

Often, the believers of these religious dogmas are completely
forbidden to express their love for those they have natural attraction
and affinity for.
However these religious dogmas often at times ignore the fact that for
marriages to be possible, certain level of attraction between a man
and woman must be achieved. It is nearly impossible for a person to
marry someone who does not spark any feeling of attraction in him or
her. This attraction however must be pure in its absolute nature and
must be free of the fruit of sin which is lust. Lust can lead to many
unforeseen challenges.

No one man or woman can marry himself or herself. That is sologamy and
it's a foreign culture to us. That's why love must be pursued to its
logical conclusion. God knew that it's not good for a man to be alone.
That's why he created a woman to complete the circle of love. There is
however an emerging trend in the concept of love which has become a
norm of the day.
This trend is what we might call love materialism. It is love
established on socio-cultural, political and financial circumstances
of the parties concerned. This phenomenon kills the spirit of love. It
is one of the primary reasons that account for the increasing rate of
divorce and separation in marriages in Ghana today. Love must be pure.
It must not be established on materialism, on the level of success one
achieves nor on the status of an individual but rather on virtuous
principles. It must be based on principles such as selflessness,
humility, respect, forgiveness, patient, trust and on all other
virtues worth emulating.

With high rate of divorce and separation in modern day Ghana, it is
paramount for us as a people to understand what true love is and we
must know that only true love can unite two souls. Love in its purest
form looks beyond the weaknesses of others. The book of Hosea in the
bible gives us a classical example of how a faithful husband loves his
unfaithful wife.
It's a book we must all make reference to in our quest to find true
love. Irrespective of the flaws in marriages, it's necessary for love
to prevail. The book of Song of Songs in the bible also gives quite
extensive metaphoric and direct expression concerning romantic love.

Let us understand that the ability of Islam and Christianity to find a
way to resolve the high rate of divorce and separation in marriages in
Ghana lies in the true understanding of love in it romantic form.
Romantic love is never a worldly, satanic nor sinful but it's a
concept the bible talks about extensively so does the Quran.

Bigi Benson,
Contact: +233579090453

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