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    Love gone sour: The experiences of Ghanaian women and men

    There are various kinds of love but the ones that have been subject of
    discussions and contentions are the Eros and Pragma. Eros which is the
    love of the body is mainly based on sexual attraction. Pragma which is
    a second kind of love is a long standing love. It's the everlasting
    love between married couple which develops over a long period of time.

    Most Ghanaian men and women often at times get confused as to whether
    love in the romantic sense is something that happens instantaneously
    or if it's something that's established through an extensive period of
    time. The answer is that love can develop instantaneously but it needs
    to be established and that where the element of process comes in. You
    can fall in love in an instant but in order to stand in love you must
    look at love as a means to an end and not an end in itself.
    Ghana is a very conservative nation. Christianity, Islam and
    traditional religion have certain dogmas that have shaped the Ghanaian
    society as far as love in romantic sense is concerned. These religious
    creeds often convey upon its adherent and the society at large the
    need for Ghanaians to limit their expressions and experiences of love
    in it romantic form.

    Often, the believers of these religious dogmas are completely
    forbidden to express their love for those they have natural attraction
    and affinity for.
    However these religious dogmas often at times ignore the fact that for
    marriages to be possible, certain level of attraction between a man
    and woman must be achieved. It is nearly impossible for a person to
    marry someone who does not spark any feeling of attraction in him or
    her. This attraction however must be pure in its absolute nature and
    must be free of the fruit of sin which is lust. Lust can lead to many
    unforeseen challenges.

    No one man or woman can marry himself or herself. That is sologamy and
    it's a foreign culture to us. That's why love must be pursued to its
    logical conclusion. God knew that it's not good for a man to be alone.
    That's why he created a woman to complete the circle of love. There is
    however an emerging trend in the concept of love which has become a
    norm of the day.
    This trend is what we might call love materialism. It is love
    established on socio-cultural, political and financial circumstances
    of the parties concerned. This phenomenon kills the spirit of love. It
    is one of the primary reasons that account for the increasing rate of
    divorce and separation in marriages in Ghana today. Love must be pure.
    It must not be established on materialism, on the level of success one
    achieves nor on the status of an individual but rather on virtuous
    principles. It must be based on principles such as selflessness,
    humility, respect, forgiveness, patient, trust and on all other
    virtues worth emulating.

    With high rate of divorce and separation in modern day Ghana, it is
    paramount for us as a people to understand what true love is and we
    must know that only true love can unite two souls. Love in its purest
    form looks beyond the weaknesses of others. The book of Hosea in the
    bible gives us a classical example of how a faithful husband loves his
    unfaithful wife.
    It's a book we must all make reference to in our quest to find true
    love. Irrespective of the flaws in marriages, it's necessary for love
    to prevail. The book of Song of Songs in the bible also gives quite
    extensive metaphoric and direct expression concerning romantic love.

    Let us understand that the ability of Islam and Christianity to find a
    way to resolve the high rate of divorce and separation in marriages in
    Ghana lies in the true understanding of love in it romantic form.
    Romantic love is never a worldly, satanic nor sinful but it's a
    concept the bible talks about extensively so does the Quran.

    Bigi Benson,
    Contact: +233579090453

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